Truth Is Mandatory

Doug Mayberry
Sun, 19 Apr 2020 21:00:00 -0700
Lifestyle

Q: A couple of years ago, I met a widowed lady. She has become a good friend, but no romantically speaking. I believe she is afraid to make another commitment, as she and her husband had their problems but chose not to divorce because of breaking up their family.

We enjoy each other's company on a regular basis and thus far have not had any arguments. We both have mutual friends who wonder why we are not a couple. She is a caring, loving lady who always maintains a positive attitude.
Updated: Mon Apr 20, 2020

Q: A couple of years ago, I met a widowed lady. She has become a good friend, but no romantically speaking. I believe she is afraid to make another commitment, as she and her husband had their problems but chose not to divorce because of breaking up their family.

We enjoy each other's company on a regular basis and thus far have not had any arguments. We both have mutual friends who wonder why we are not a couple. She is a caring, loving lady who always maintains a positive attitude.

My hesitation is that I have a major heart problem, and my doctor says it means that I may only have a couple of years ahead. I have not disclosed this possibility to her and am afraid she will look elsewhere for a husband.

I would like to marry her, but I do not want to complicate things and jeopardize the possibility of her finding a healthy husband. What would you recommend I do?

A: Honesty and trust are the keys to successful relationships. Until you disclose your health issue, you do not know what her response will be.

She may not consider it an issue; she may love you and want to be with you as long as possible.

Sharing this information and being truthful is only fair and reasonable, and it offers her the opportunity to make her own decision. If she declines, you're giving her a chance to look forward to other options and opportunities. — Doug

BIG DECISIONS

Q: I'm getting older, and I know that I don't have that many years ahead. However, life goes on around me. Recently, I've had a couple of big-ticket purchases to decide on, like my car and home repair, and I am not sure how I should adjust my buying decisions.

What should I keep in mind?

A: Because you may not get to enjoy these expensive purchases for as long as you'd like, it's good to make decisions that maximize their value and your enjoyment of them.

Seniors have very different needs for vehicles than younger generations, especially when you consider your driving ability and road safety. Look for a car that has excellent safety ratings and is dependable. You likely want to have a car that won't have big repair costs down the line.

You can't avoid certain home repairs. Major failures, like plumbing disasters, require immediate attention and can be very expensive. Preventative maintenance can save you a great deal of money. Additionally, focus on expenditures that will maintain the value of your home. If you are leaving property to your inheritors, you don't want to leave them with a decrepit financial sinkhole.

When making financial decisions, also consider seeking out new experiences like travel. You may not get to enjoy a new dishwasher for long, for example, so you could instead go somewhere or try something new.

Seek to maximize the value of your purchases! — Emma, Doug's granddaughter